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The problem with online dating

People who shop for people online are in a specific mental state. And it’s not a good one.

An increasing number of people are using online dating sites to meet potential partners. Now, people who date online are not shallower or vainer than those who don’t. They broadly represent all types of people from all walks of life. It’s just that they’re in a specific mental state: They’re shopping for human beings, commodifying people.

They have access to very little information that can help them judge if they will fall in love with this person - they pay ridiculous amounts of attention to things like looks, which have little bearing on whether a relationship will work. …

When online daters actually meet, an entirely different mind-set has to kick in. If they’re going to be open to a real relationship, they have to stop asking where this person rates in comparison to others.

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“I was anxious, and I admit very skeptical, about joining PerfectPartners and perhaps meeting someone new, particularly as I have (a daughter) Jessica to consider but you did it. I don’t know how you realised it, but Paul is perfect for me. We spend a lot of time together and never seem to stop talking! Jessica really likes him too so thanks a million Bill.”

Andrea, 35