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The problem with online dating

People who shop for people online are in a specific mental state. And it’s not a good one.

An increasing number of people are using online dating sites to meet potential partners. Now, people who date online are not shallower or vainer than those who don’t. They broadly represent all types of people from all walks of life. It’s just that they’re in a specific mental state: They’re shopping for human beings, commodifying people.

They have access to very little information that can help them judge if they will fall in love with this person - they pay ridiculous amounts of attention to things like looks, which have little bearing on whether a relationship will work. …

When online daters actually meet, an entirely different mind-set has to kick in. If they’re going to be open to a real relationship, they have to stop asking where this person rates in comparison to others.

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“Online dating never really did it for me. I just seemed to meet crazy people all of the time or was always pressurised to go on blind dates with friends of friends. Your service cut through all of the nonsense and put me with someone with whom I had things in common, things to talk about and mutual interests. I have met three fantastic ladies and, I think, I’ve fallen for one of them! I just wanted to say thanks.”

Robert, 29